Sunday 13 May 2012

LOL

I had a great weekend with family and while it was sad circumstance that we were all together- my aunt's funeral- it was still nice to spend time with, and most importantly celebrate my aunt's life. I've written about my aunt twice already (which you can read here and here). Aunt Mary was a HUGE fan of the horse races, so in her honour and memory:


This Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental.  He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail. He finally had to give up because it had become ... a real night mare.


What is one of the hardest times to win a horse race?
12:31, because it is 29 to 1.



Did you hear about the guy who went to the races and while there he observed a Roman Catholic priest who went over to a horse and sprinkled it with holy water.  The horse went on to win the race, streaking ahead of the opposition.  Before the next race he saw the priest go over to another horse and sprinkle it with holy water.   Like the first horse it went on to win it's race.   The guy said to himself that if the priest sprinkles another horse with holy water I am going to bet every penny I have on that horse.  Sure enough, the priest went over to another horse and sprinkled it with holy water.  So the guy went to a bookie and bet every penny he had on this horse.

Then the race started and the horse that the priest sprinkled with holy water dropped dead about 100 yards after the start of the race.   The guy was devastated.    So he went over to the priest and said,  "What's going on here?    The last two horses you sprinkled with holy water went on to win their races, and this last one you sprinkled dropped dead after only 100 yards.  I had put every penny I had on it's nose!"

The priest replied, "You're not Roman Catholic, are you?" 

The guy admitted that he was not and asked, "But, how do you know that?"
The priest said, "Because you don't know the difference between giving a blessing and administering the last rights."



 

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