Monday 17 December 2018

Best Person You Can Be

Happy Monday! It has been a while- about six months- since I have posted. Life got busy, I had different priorities, and blogging took a back seat. I have missed my little space here on the internet. I had a lot of really great things happen the past six months- most of it travelling, sprinkled with time spent with family and friends. By all accounts, 2018 was a very happy, productive and positive year for me. 

Until about two months ago. 

Two months ago, I was pulled into a situation that I wanted nothing to do with, I didn't want to be a part of, and I knew very little about. There was gossip, drama, and backstabbing. All great elements for a soap opera/tv show/movie, but horrible elements for a professional setting. Each week, things got worse and worse. 

I was unhappy, miserable, and trying desperately to rise above. I changed my behaviour- not to conform, but in an attempt-in hopes- that it would save me from being dragged down further with the negativity that I was now surrounded by. I stopped being me. I became a person in this environment that I didn't recognize. In my personal life, I was still myself and I still found myself surrounded with true friends who loved and supported me, who offered advice and empathy for my situation. They encouraged me.

But the was too much. About a month ago, the negativity reached it's peak. I was disgusted by the attitudes and behaviours, how myself and others were treated, and by the hypocrisy of people being valued and belonging. I saw the situation and the people for what it and who they  really were. People who are Christians, were not upholding Christian ethos or values. 

I wanted NOTHING to do with them or the situation. I didn't want to be associated with all of the horrible things they were saying and doing. I was- and still am- repulsed by them, their actions and attitudes.

I don't think there was hate involved- such a strong word- but the ignorance, drama and negativity were so extreme that I can't find accurate words to describe it. 

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Since leaving the situation-within minutes- I felt free. I had broken away from the horrible, negative, drama, and ignorance...there was a lot of ignorance. I don't appreciate the way I-or others in the situation- was treated, but I was beyond thankful to be done with that B.S. 

In the immediate aftermath, I took steps to further remove myself from the negative- specifically the person who started it all. I put measures in place to distance myself and to prevent being dragged back into it all. 

From the onset of leaving, I refused to let the situation, the experience, the drama to hold me back, consume me, suck me in, turn me into a bitter person, turn me into the unethical and poor judgement people that they are. 

I have not, and will not, let them stop me being from being me- the best person I can be. 

I a lover of laughter, simple, forever optimistic, kind, genuine, true to myself, happy to be me. 

No on will ever change that. 

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