2019 Word of the Year Is...

My 2018 word, self-care, was inspired by someone who was one of my best friends. It was based on a conversation he and I had. He told me that he felt I should spend 2018 focusing on me because I spend so much time and energy focusing on others. He wasn't wrong. While this was a conversation that shaped my 2018, in July our friendship came to an end...it had run it's course, and he was very needy and draining. I miss him and think of him fondly, and am thankful that he inspired me to take care of myself. 

In 2018, there were weeks and months where self-care took a backseat to other things, but I did spend more time on self-care than in previous years. Eating habits changed (less eating out, more homecooked meals), I would spend nights in relaxing instead of feeling like I had to go out, I took more baths, incorporated essential oils, massage and other relaxation treatments, turning my phone off, doing more things because I wanted to and less things I felt obligated to. I can honestly say that I felt a lot happier in 2018, and self-care played a big role in that.

Thinking of my 'Word of the Year' was a bit of a challenge for 2019. I wanted a word that resonated with me, a word that I felt I could carry out long-term for the year, and not just short-term until I accomplished a specific goal. I did come up with a word, and it's something that I was lacking in 2018. 

My 2019 Word of the Year is...

Value

I heard a lot of talk in 2018 about valuing people, and I can tell you that I DID NOT feel valued in 2018- especially by the people who talked about how important it is to value people. It was lip service. We all know actions speak louder than words...and I can tell you there were no actions. 

Now, I know that it might seem like my 2019 Word is coming from a negative place...and it is coming from a negative experience. That experience made me realize that I never want to feel unvalued again...and if I do, I need to get the hell out ASAP. I know my worth, and deserve to be valued.

Taking it even further, everyone deserves to be valued. At least at first...they might do something where they no longer deserve to be valued by you...but then you need to get out of dodge and move on from them! You know, because of self-value. 

Towards the end of October, I had a conversation with Graham Brietenstein aka The 502 Kid aka 

Drunk Astrology. Graham said something to me that was life changing at the time. It resonated with me and made me see things differently. It was his words that got me through the darkest time of 2018. Graham said: 

"Human to human...everyone deserves to be valued."

In 2019, I want to always be in a position where I feel valued and not waste time or energy on people, places, and experiences that are devaluing. Taking it a step further, I want to make sure that I am valuing people and that people know they are valued by me. I want my words and actions to be clear to those around me that they are valued. 

2018, It's Time We Move On

Dear 2018, 

I don't even know where to begin... You were aware of the heartbreak that 2017 put me through, and I was excited to leave 2017 and start something with you. You had so much promise.

You were so good to me, 2018. We had fun, you brought me joy, there was adventure. But in the end, you betrayed me. 

We started with the opportunity for self-care, which I desperately needed. I went back to looking after myself, something I hadn't done in awhile. I did things because I wanted to, and I cut out a lot of things that I felt obligated to do. I stopped putting in effort with "friends" who couldn't be bothered. I started focusing on friends who deserved my friendship. This resulted in the loss of people who I considered best friends, but I saw that our friendship was one sided and that I deserved better.

Things were going so well for us, 2018. We travelled out East- Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia. I had the experience of a lifetime and made some amazing memories. This was the first time in four years (almost to the day), since I had taken a week off. It was much needed- the vacation, the time to relax, the chance to explore, the opportunity to experience the East Coast. I have always wanted to visit PEI, and I have a goal to visit all of Canada's Provinces and Territories. Thank you for helping me accomplish this and cross two provinces off my list. My trip out East is one of the highlights of our relationship.

Another highlight? S. Bringing S to me, our chance meeting, everything that had to happen in order for us to have that initial interaction, and everything that has happened since...I am forever thankful. He is everything...the support he has given me, his belief in me and encouragement, his caring and understanding, his kindness...there is so much good. For this, I will be in your debt.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention my dad's re-election. While the campaign was...trying...his landslide victory was welcomed with gratitude. People believe in him, the work he is doing and the work he would like to do. He, with the support of our family, will continue to serve our communities, continuing to make them a better place.

Professionally, 2018, you brought me my busiest year. I worked on 98 events, an increase of over 30 events from 2017. I traveled more for work than in any other year. I was traveling to the same two places- Peterborough and Ottawa- but you kept me on the road. Each trip was met with busy days of meetings, but I also had the time to connect with people.

One of the Peterborough trips gave me a once in a lifetime opportunity. I had the chance to have dinner IN the Canadian Canoe Museum...in the middle of the building, surrounded by exhibits. This was such a memorable, unique, once in a lifetime experience.

I felt that I hit my stride professionally this year. I took risks, I gained confidence, my talent and hardwork were recognized- but not appreciated. I reached a point where I had proved that I can do and handle anything. Most importantly, I realized my professional value.

2018, things were going so well for us. I thought you were The One. 

Towards the end of October-I can't recall the exact date- something happened. This was the start of the betrayal, the beginning of the end. I knew it the second that it happened. The next 4-ish weeks were miserable, everything changed for the worst. You made me feel uncomfortable, unsafe, violated...A LOT of negative. I withdrew, went through the motions, hoping the abuse would stop, hoping I would go unnoticed and be left alone. Wishful thinking. You kept coming for me, abusing me over and over.

It all came to a head on November 22. I saw clearly. I was disappointed, disgusted, appalled, horrified at your character and actions. I wanted NOTHING to do with you. I lost all respect for you. I saw who you really were. I realize there is more to the story, things I don't know. But I know enough that you don't deserve me, my time or my thoughts. You definitely do not deserve my loyalty. That went out the window with your false and poor judgement- which I have told people about. Your secrets are no longer safe with me. After what you did, you don't deserve my protection and I am not going to lie to cover up for you. If I get asked, which I have, I will continue to tell the truth.

I felt relief...I was done with you. I had my escape, I was finally free. Almost. I knew I still had weeks left with you, 2018. But we really began to live separately. The next day, I had a fantastic girls weekend that was so much fun. In the weeks that followed, I spent time with the people I love the most, a lot of them I hadn't been able to spend time with previously. I went back to self-care. I went out to events, embraced the role of political daughter. I started to set myself up to be noticed by someone else, so that when the time came I would be ready to 100% move on.

I am so ready to move on. I am thankful for everything you brought me, 2018, but I am done with you. That month-ish of negativity overshadows all of the good. There was so, so, so much good...but that's how bad those four weeks were. As I move on, I will leave the negative with you because it's what you deserve. I will be taking the good with me-my experiences and memories, family and friends, S, true friendships, love and support, and the promise of better opportunities.

You should know 2018, that in about 16 hours I will be meeting 2019. I have so much hope and optimism for me and 2019. Please leave me alone, let me move on, and let me discover with 2019 all that you could not give me or live up to. 

Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book.
Write a good one. - Brad Paisley

Never Felt So Alive, So Wild, So Free

There are so many things that I love about this time of year- the holidays, end of the year reflection, time with family and friends, and the World Juniors. 

Like most Canadians, I spend the days after Christmas cheering on Team Canada at the World Juniors, which Canada also happens to be hosting this year. In honour of the tournament and all of the Team Canada players- past, present, future:

Roots by The Reklaws

A Year In Review- 2018

I feel like 2018 flew by...everything just happened so quickly, and I spent a lot of the year feeling like I wasn't able to enjoy things- life was too busy, time was moving too quickly. I feel like there were things I wanted to do in 2018 that I never even had the chance to think about, never mind actually do. for the most part, 2018 was a good year. Things turned sour at the end of October, but let's not get into THAT right now. Let's focus on the good!

There was a lot of good this year...it was a happy year, mostly, with a lot of highs!

I started the year off by having a Girls Night in January with some great friends, where we went out for dinner and then to see Pitch Perfect 3 (better than Pitch Perfect 2, not as good as the original). This movie outing set the pace for the year- I saw four movies in theatres (Pitch Perfect 3, Game Night, Ocean's 8, and Crazy Rich Asians), when I usually see one movie every four years. 

February is not only my birthday month- where I had a great day of relaxing before heading out for a night of fun with friends- but I had the opportunity to go to a live recording of Grown Ups Read Things They Wrote As Kids. This is hands down my favourite podcast, it is hilarious! It was so fun to see the podcast live...just as funny in person!

In March I had a day off, and went to have a reading with a psychic medium, Kelly. Kelly is actually a friend of mine and she has been reading me for years. Readings with Kelly are always fun, insightful, and accurate. During this reading, she shared with me symbols that a friend of mine would show me, and that when I see these symbols it means he is with me. He has shown up multiple times through his symbols. She also told me something that would happen in June, which it did and was one of the best things to happen to me this year.

April I was hosted by Ottawa Tourism and got to spend a couple of days in Ottawa. I had the opportunity to stay at Arc The Hotel, which is a trendy boutique property that I highly recommend! Arc and Tourism were so good to me! It was a work event, so I spent the day in meetings, but I also had the chance to walk around Ottawa. My walks weren't anywhere specific, but it was great to spend some time just wandering around. 

Images Via Pitch Perfect 3 // PEI // Ottawa // Canoe Polo // Peggys Cove // Grownups Read Things They Wrote As Kids

All year I had been looking forward to May and June! May was a BUSY month...there was a lot going on, but this was the month that I would be taking a week off-the first time in four years! This was also a trip I had been looking forward to for about a year. At the end of May and beginning of June I traveled to PEI and Nova Scotia. This was the first time that I was traveling to Eastern Canada. I LOVED the time I spent out East. I had a fantastic time exploring and experiencing Charlottetown. I spent my time in Nova Scotia in Halifax, with day trips to Peggy's Cove and Lunenberg. This trip lived up to my expectations and I can't wait to visit both provinces again!

Also in June something that Kelly said would happen did. It has been such a blessing in my life, I am so grateful and can honestly say my life changed for the better. Years of patience has rewarded me with something that went beyond my expectations. 

End of July and the beginning of August was the Canoe Polo World Championships. I had the opportunity to accompany my father to the Opening Ceremonies, the Welcome Reception, and the closing Gala- all were once in a lifetime experiences and a ton of fun. I also had the opportunity to attend a number of games. Canoe Polo is my new favourite sport! It is such a fast pace, exciting game! 

September provided another once in a lifetime experience. I was hosted by Peterborough Economic Development and invited to a dinner held IN the Canadian Canoe Museum...like in the middle of the building surrounded by exhibits in the Museum! We also got a mini experiential tour, had the chance to try paddle carving, and got to make (and keep) our own soapstone carving! It was truly an amazing experience and still smile thinking about how great it was! 

For October it is hard to pick a highlight...my dad was re-elected with a resounding majority, about 80% of the vote. I had the opportunity to stay at the historic Lord Elgin hotel in Ottawa. I had a conversation with Graham...the conversation came after a negative situation that made me question some things. Graham made a comment that made me see things differently, he provided some food for thought, and he reminded me that I deserve to be valued.

My first reaction is to just skip over November because it was such a disappointing month for me. While A LOT of terrible things happened, it was these things that ultimately led to me feeling free and no longer having to associate with a group of negative, unethical people. You are who you associate with, and I don't want to associate with them. Everything happens for a reason. The highlight of this month was sitting front row at a Royal Wood concert with one of my best friends. We had a great time together. I hadn't seen Royal in concert in just over a year...I forgot what an amazing entertainer he was! Musically, he is insanely talented, but he is also a lot of fun to watch live. 

Finally we are at December. December has been a month full of spending time with the people I love the most. Being reminded of how much value I added and how much I deserve to be valued. It has been a month filled with refocusing my energies and refocusing on my priorities. This has been a month full of promise, new opportunities. I have felt so appreciated, loved, and supported this month. 

2018 has been a good year...going back and thinking about everything that has happened each month, picking a highlight, has reminded me of all the good. End of October and November were miserable, but they also had good points. 

I'm looking forward to 2019 and seeing what the year has in store!!