What's In A Name?

It's been about five years or so since I shared the story behind my blog name (and social media handles), so I thought that I would do that today!

I started blogging back in the fall of 2011 and Dreams and Colour has always been the name of my blog. I know that a lot of bloggers have gone through different names and branding, but I was never one of them. Speaking of branding...all of my branding was created by the insanely talented and super sweet Chelsea from Swoon & Co. You can also find Chelsea at her blog, Olive & Ivy.

So, why Dreams and Colour?

One of my all time favourite songs is Betterman by Pearl Jam. I remember hearing it as a kid, and loving it from the beginning. There's a line in the song 'She dreams in colour/she dreams in red' that has always been one of my favourite song lyrics. 

Red is my favourite colour and I considered naming my blog 'Dreams in Red' but I thought it might be limiting as far as design goes, and I thought that it might also give off a negative image- red is often associated with anger- which I definitely didn't want.

I really liked 'Dreams in Colour' and thought it would be great from a design and imagine perspective, and I felt it related to me on a personal level- I like colour, I light bright, I like fun. 

Unfortunately, Dreams in Colour/Color were not available, but Dreams and Colour was. Dreams and Colour was close enough to the original name that I wanted, so I went with it and never looked back! 

This Year I Resolve Not To...

A lot of people- myself NOT included- take the opportunity to set resolutions for the new year. People will set goals to quit smoking, lose weight, exercise more, save money...all honourable. Sometimes resolutions will be more fun- fall in love, spend more time with friends, finally take that dream vacation. I've never been one to jump on the New Year's Resolution Bandwagon. I know that, like most people, I won't keep the resolutions, so why bother?

This year, I thought instead of making a list of things I will do this year, I would make a list of things I won't do. I still don't consider these "resolutions".

Here are the 10 things I resolve not to do in 2019:

1. Let people devalue me. I know myself worth and if you are not going to value me, I don't have room for you in my life. 
2. Have a bedtime. In the past, I have gone to bed whenever I felt like it- sometimes at 9pm, sometimes at 2am- and still managed to be awake and start my day by 8am. This has worked for me in the past, so why change it?
3. Become a vegetarian. Do you know how great bacon is?! I am not giving that up. I also resolve not to become a vegan, because cheese.
4. Give up on cheesecake. It's delicious and just makes life better. 
5. Watch Star Wars/Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter. I have never seen any of these movies, to the shock and awe of many. 
6. Start smoking. That way I don't have to resolve to quit smoking later. 
7. Throw a snowball that has ice in it at someone. That's just mean.
8. Binge Netflix for more than two consecutive days. You need a break, you need to leave the house, you need to do something-anything-productive. 
9. Listen to screamo music. Never been a fan. 
10. Confine myself to top 10 lists. Also, I can't think of anything else. 

This post was inspired by Amber from Airing My Laundry. You can find her list of things she resolves not to do here. 

2018 Book Club Reading List

Ever since I was a little kid, I have loved to read. The number of books on my To Be Read list is...extreme- about 50 books, not including the ones on my Kindle! I have also been in a Book Club with some friends from high school for 3+ years. I thought it would be fun to share the books that we read in 2018!

January: How to Build a Girl by Caitlin Moran- I am not a Caitlin Moran fan, never have been. I would give this book a pass. My full review can be found here. 

February: The Child by Fiona Barton- A house is demolished and a baby's body is found. A journalist is on a mission to figure out who the baby is. Not my favourite book, but worth looking into as a lot of people enjoyed it.

March: We Were the Lucky Ones by Georgia Hunter- This is the heartbreaking true story of the Kurc Family, a Jewish family separated during the war and what they endured. This is a sad story, made even sadder knowing that these are real people and their real experiences. I recommend this book, we need to be reminded of the past and how people should not be treated.

April: The Good Daughter by Karen Slaughter- After watching their mother get murdered, two sisters are forced into the woods- one left for dead, the other manages to run. 28 years later, there is a school shooting. This reunites the sisters and we learn more of what unfolded the night their mom died and how the two events are connected. Didn't like the ending, but would recommend this book. My full review can be found here.

May: The Couple Next Door by Shari Lapena-  The Conti's leave their baby home alone as they attend a dinner party next door. While at the party, their daughter is kidnapped. As we try and figure out what happened to the baby- who took her, where she is- more and more secrets are unveiled. Highly recommend this book!

June: Confessions of a Domestic Failure by Bunmi Laditan- We join Ashley Keller as she participates in a mommy bootcamp competition run by mommy blogger turned mommy lifestyle expert, Emily Walker. She is up against the perfect mom's that we find on social media. Ashley is more real, relatable...we watch her struggle and see her attempt to make her life look perfect on social media too. This book is hilarious and really enjoyed it! Definitely recommend it. 

July: Only Child by Rhiannon Nevin- Told from the point of view of six year old Zach, who we first meet while he is hiding in a closet during a school shooting. This story reminded me a lot of Sandyhook. We see how Zach and his parents- from Zach's point of view- grieve the loss of their son and brother. Interesting seeing such a scary and tragic situation from the eyes of a child. Highly recommend this book.

August: Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote- This was my pick, and a book that had been on my reading list forever. We join the narrator as he meets Holly Golightly and gets to know her. Holly lives in a fantasy world, and believes that nothing bad can happen. This is a short story and worth the read, especially if you like the movie- which was inspired by the book. Truman Capote is one of the most renowned author's of the twentieth century and everyone should read at least one thing by him.

September: Pick Your Own Book- September is the anniversary of our book club, so we decided to do something a little different this month. Each member got to pick what book they wanted, and then would share their thoughts of the book with everyone else at our September meeting. This was a lot of fun! I read The Children by Ann Leary. Recluse Charlotte lives with her mother in a home owned by her stepbrothers. Charlotte has a fictional life online that begins to unravel. Her home life also faces some changes when her stepbrothers return. Of course secrets are revealed and things start to change. I really enjoyed this book and highly recommend it!

October: Salem's Lot by Stephen King- Author Ben returns to Salem's Lot in hopes of being inspired for his new book. There's a mansion with a questionable history, two men buy it and open a business in town..they are also questionable. Two brother's go into the woods, and only one comes out alive. People start getting sick, dying, and disappearing. This is a creepy, creepy book. I don't like scary books, but I would recommend this book if you do. 

November: The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris- This is a book that everyone MUST read. This is a true story as told by Lale, the Tattooist, and life in a concentration camp. The horrors that people went through, how they were treated, the strength of the human spirit, and even some humanity shown to the prisoners. We need to be reminded of what happened during WWII and never forget. This books should serve as a warning to never, ever, let history repeat it's self. I hated this book- it was difficult to read and made my stomach turn- but everyone needs to read it. You can find my full review here.  

December: The Broken Girls by Simone St James- The long abandoned girls boarding school Idlewild Hall, has been purchased by a women, Margaret, and is being renovated to become a girls boarding school again. Journalist Fiona's sister's body was found years ago in the abandon field of the school. Fiona is writing a piece on the school, discovering it's history and wanting to know why Margaret is so interested in the school. Her investigating reveals secrets of the school- including what happened to a student who went missing- Mary Hand who haunts the grounds, and what really happened the night her sister was murdered. This was hands down the creepiest book we read this year, but I highly recommend it! 

My top three books that we read in 2018 are:

1. Confessions of a Domestic Failure (June)
2. The Children (September)
3. The Broken Girls (December)

2019 Word of the Year Is...

My 2018 word, self-care, was inspired by someone who was one of my best friends. It was based on a conversation he and I had. He told me that he felt I should spend 2018 focusing on me because I spend so much time and energy focusing on others. He wasn't wrong. While this was a conversation that shaped my 2018, in July our friendship came to an end...it had run it's course, and he was very needy and draining. I miss him and think of him fondly, and am thankful that he inspired me to take care of myself. 

In 2018, there were weeks and months where self-care took a backseat to other things, but I did spend more time on self-care than in previous years. Eating habits changed (less eating out, more homecooked meals), I would spend nights in relaxing instead of feeling like I had to go out, I took more baths, incorporated essential oils, massage and other relaxation treatments, turning my phone off, doing more things because I wanted to and less things I felt obligated to. I can honestly say that I felt a lot happier in 2018, and self-care played a big role in that.

Thinking of my 'Word of the Year' was a bit of a challenge for 2019. I wanted a word that resonated with me, a word that I felt I could carry out long-term for the year, and not just short-term until I accomplished a specific goal. I did come up with a word, and it's something that I was lacking in 2018. 

My 2019 Word of the Year is...

Value

I heard a lot of talk in 2018 about valuing people, and I can tell you that I DID NOT feel valued in 2018- especially by the people who talked about how important it is to value people. It was lip service. We all know actions speak louder than words...and I can tell you there were no actions. 

Now, I know that it might seem like my 2019 Word is coming from a negative place...and it is coming from a negative experience. That experience made me realize that I never want to feel unvalued again...and if I do, I need to get the hell out ASAP. I know my worth, and deserve to be valued.

Taking it even further, everyone deserves to be valued. At least at first...they might do something where they no longer deserve to be valued by you...but then you need to get out of dodge and move on from them! You know, because of self-value. 

Towards the end of October, I had a conversation with Graham Brietenstein aka The 502 Kid aka 

Drunk Astrology. Graham said something to me that was life changing at the time. It resonated with me and made me see things differently. It was his words that got me through the darkest time of 2018. Graham said: 

"Human to human...everyone deserves to be valued."

In 2019, I want to always be in a position where I feel valued and not waste time or energy on people, places, and experiences that are devaluing. Taking it a step further, I want to make sure that I am valuing people and that people know they are valued by me. I want my words and actions to be clear to those around me that they are valued.